The Deranged
Child At Age Four
Bobby was large and strong for his
young age. He was a puzzle of the pediatrics department whenever his mother
took him to see the doctor. He had not yet outgrown his negative stage
of childhood that had started fully two years ago, and his speech had not
progressed since then. In contrast Bobby seemed able to read a couple of
years ahead of his age. Hence, a puzzle. The medical doctors were baffled
but could not convince Mrs. Wallace to take her son to see a psychologist.
She felt that by doing this she would be admitting to the whole world that
her only child were deranged.
Mr. and Mrs. Wallace had lived in their
three bedroom, suburban home for several years before Bobby was born. At
which time, their world changed drastically. Bobby was never a normal child.
He would sleep through normal feeding times and refuse to eat if waken.
He never had a normal schedule. He seemed on the time clock of another
world. Between worrying about Bobby and putting up with his weird schedule,
the Wallaces began to lose sleep. They began to become irritable and to
fight. Tom even suspected Martha of giving the child different amounts
of a sedative each night. This is how they began to fight. If someone had
planned to see them unhappy, they couldnít have planned it better.
By the time Bobby was four years old,
they would fight over the smallest things. These fights would always begin
with one parent asking the other, ìWho moved this chair?î or ìWhy did you
change the channel?î or even ìDid You have to wax the floor? I almost killed
myself. Besides, I thought I paid a lot extra for a no wax floor.î Neither
parent ever bothered asking themselves if a four year old could move a
chair or change a channel or even put wax on a floor. Bobby never seemed
to be there when a fight started, but Bobby was always there, under a table,
behind a chair, perhaps, but there. Bobby thrived on guilt and hate. He
loved the feelings himself and enjoyed watching others experience them.
Pain was the one feeling he did not like to experience in any way. Pain
scarred him. He was to realize later that the body did not heal with an
apology. Every time that one of his parents experienced pain in a fight,
no matter what the cause, Bobby was scared. Scared into sleeping normally
and not provoking his parents for awhile. Then little things would start
up again. As quickly as they had ceased the fights would start again, over
a hidden wallet or an adjusted thermostat.
Throughout his life, his parents loved
Bobby, no matter how strange he was. When Bobby was almost five his parents
split and divorced. It was a clean break. Half of everything to each parent.
Even Bobby was split, custody to his mother, and weekend, summer and vacation
visits to his father. There was no pain in the parting and Bobby was glad.
Bobby, whether he knew it or knew he wanted it, had achieved one aspect
of his non-conformity.