January 2000  iDeath

I have been wondering lately about the branding trend of iStuff. We all have seen the iMacs and iBooks, and I have started to see ads for web sites like iBank, an internet bank, and iFriends, a chat room for those with web cams.

It may be fairly obvious how they got the name for iBank, but Iím not sure if it is true for the Macintosh products. There is a literary reference for the iWord construction that will never allow me to look at my iBook quite the same.

Richard Brautigan is best known for his novel Trout Fishing in America. To give you an idea of the power this book has to some, I have personally met one man who was given the middle name Trout Fishing in America By Richard Brautigan. He went by Trout. This seems like and isolated case but I also have read of a 18 year old boy, who after reading the book, changed his name to the title as well. It's kind of strange stuff, I know. And that is why I wonder about this iThing.

It is in Brautigan's book, In Watermelon Sugar, which the iWord first appears. On the first page our narrator writes,
 ìI live in a shack near iDeath. I can see iDeath out my window. It is beautiful. I can also see it with my eyes closed and touch it. Right now it is cold and turns like something in the hand of a child. I do not know what that thing could be.
 There is a delicate balance in iDeath. It suits usî

iDeath is at the artistic center of a place called watermelon sugar, pop. about 375. iDeath is something of a communal house, whose inhabitants seem to be responsible for all the statues, and paintings in town, and the 24 books in 171 years.

In watermelon sugar, they lead simple country lives with no mechanization to speak of. The travel by foot, or horse. They grow crops, including watermelon. The sugar from watermelons is surprisingly useful. From it they make a great number of things, including watermelontrout oil for light, watermelon sugar planks for building, and watermelon sugar cloth for sweet smelling dresses. There is a town doctor, a cafe, and a school. It all sounds quite nice to me.

Watermelon sugar is situated on the edge of the Forgotten Works, of which our narrator writes, ìNobody knows how old the forgotten works are, reaching as they do into distances that we can not travel nor want to.î In further description he writes of one person who traveled into the Forgotten Works, ìHe went in maybe a hundred miles and was gone for weeks. He went beyond those high Piles we can see on clear days. He said there were piles beyond this that were even higher... He said he was lost for days and came across things that were two miles long and green.î There are many forgotten things in the forgotten works. We are left to let our imagination guide us. One description is of something that looks like a hunch back thumb made of ice, and although the sun is warm it only starts melting when it is picked up. There are many books in the forgotten works that the people of watermelon sugar deem worthy only of burning. There is a sign at the edge on the Forgotten Works that reads ,îTHIS IS THE ENTRANCE TO THE FORGOTTEN WORKS. BE CAREFUL. YOU MIGHT GET LOSTî

The trouble in watermelon sugar starts when a habitant of iDeath goes bad. Everyone saw it coming. He had been spending a lot of time down at the Forgotten Works brewing whiskey from forgotten things. He was just not happy somehow. One night at dinner, inBOIL hops up and tells everyone off and then storms off to live in a ëlousy shackí by the Forgotten Works. ìI know more about iDeath in my little finger than all you guys put together,î He says.

inBOIL causes no trouble for a few years. A few men join him now and then living in ëlousy shacksí down by the Forgotten Works, and brewing and drinking whiskey from forgotten things. YOU MIGHT GET LOST.

One day inBOIL returns to iDeath. He comes with ëthat gang of his,í about twenty by now. inBOIL says, ìYou don't know anything about iDeath... I'll show you. This is iDeathî He had once talked about the knowledge in his pinkie and now he was ready to prove it, by cutting it off. He starts with his thumb, nose, and ears, and proceeds to bleed to death. Every one of ëthat gang of hisí follows like they are playing inBOIL Says.

So that is the story of watermelon sugar, inBOIL, and iDeath. I have to admit the story gave me plenty to think about long before Macintosh announced the iMacs.

Now I sit here typing on one of the newest products of an industrial society that apparently collapsed long before the time of iDeath, and I have to wonder. What were they thinking when they named the iBook? Had they read In Watermelon Sugar? Did they know about iDeath? Did some powerhouse advertising or name company come up with the idea, ìhey let's mess with capitalization a bit?î  (If so, I'd like to work for them.) I suppose I will never know the answers to all of these questions, no matter how much I am drawn to dwell on them. For now all I can do is share a few thoughts.
 

Theory One: This is a good brand name
Assuming that many people have heard of Richard Brautigan, read In Watermelon Sugar, and remember what iDeath is about, there are favorable connections to draw. iDeath rises from the ashes of a collapsed society and what's more survives a new challenge that rises from that wreckage. iDeath is changeable, and artistic. It suits us. What better things can we say about a new line of computers. It rises from the wreckage of the forgotten works of all the PCs and old Macs, and will continue to survive the challenge from this wreckage. It is changing and suited to the artistic. Being artistic is something that Macs have been known for and may be trying to reemphasize. This theory mostly works. My old computer is a 286 laptop, that weighs 18 pounds and was clinging to life by threads. While it is certainly fair to call this a forgotten work, it is rather conceited to deem all other computers such. Mostly I just can't believe that art could be applied to computer branding so well. Names are so historically boring or unintentionally misleading, given an art context. It is inconceivable to me that a computer name would reference one of my favorite authors, and have some meaning.

Theory Two: Nightmares
I have nightmares about iDeath. How could anyone not? It is such a haunting story, with imagery that forces itself to be played back in one's mind. I can close my eyes and see a melting thumb, or inBOIL, cutting of his thumb. These are just a couple of the dozens of images that bounce around in my head from time to time. These visions are why I can't forgive the namers of these computers. This is why I can never look at my iBook quite the same. On good days I am just haunted by images from the book. On particularly bad days, I imagine that the iWord construction being unleashed into popular use will cause a chain reaction that will end in the crumbling of society and reduce everything to forgotten works. In my dream only the iBooks survive, running a simulation of a and idyllic society made of watermelon sugar planks. This is how it all begins... iBook, iMac, iBook, iBook, IBook...

Well, what's in a name anyway? I am not really sure especially in this case.  I think I will get over it. Just don't email me any pictures of watermelon or thumbs. These images on my screen might send me right over the edge.