August 29, 1999  Kool-Aid
 

Yesterday I had a thought. It was one that I had shared with the staff at
the beginning of the summer and then completely forgotten until Becca
reminded me at the end of the summer. And then yesterday it was back. I
had a long kind of strange day. I guess it was the longest time I had yet
had alone since everyone "left". I truth there have been  a lot of people
around. Meg Scott was here friday night and we saw Sixth Sense in town.
This was actually a little scarier at times that the Blair Witch
project that I saw the night before. So today I face my first full day
alone. I woke up alone and will see no one all day and go to sleep alone.
I said to someone else. Thank god for NPR. I listened a lot yesterday.
Prairie home companion, Jewish short stories. Here's a picture. I'm
sprawled out on the hood of moose parked in front of the shop intently
listening to some story about a young woman meeting for the first time
the man to which she is arranged to marry. She has to decide if she will
say yes or no. It was a classic care taking moment. Where else in the
world can you just get caught up in something like that, enjoying the
warmth of the hood, and the sun on your face, and being transported to
another place by a story? KNowing that no one will come bother you. In a
mind like mine that is wondering what life will bring, opportunities like
that in the future seemed like a good thing to shoot for. Free Saturdays
and Sundays, with not a care in the world, and someone to share them
with. Ok, that is too much to ask.

And has all this rambling weakened or emphasized my thought. Later I was
building a book shelf for my room. Not a remarkable project really, but I
remembered my pre summer musing. Doing some quick math I had figured that
the human body was roughly the same concentration of stuff to water, as
double strength Kool-aid. While it didn't remarkable that i should need
and build a book shelf. It was mind blowing to think that double strength
Kool-aid should ever be involved in such an activity, and when you get
right down to it... What really is the difference between life and Kool-aid?

miXim